10 tips to survive (and even enjoy!) a business trip—without your kids

I remember my first overnight trip without my kids: Peeper wasn’t even two yet, and when I did a video call with her, she looked behind the computer to find the rest of me. *sob* But going on a business trip without kids has gotten progressively easier. Now I travel for work every other month or so, and although it’s still tough—I miss those little monsters, they miss me, and my husband definitely misses me/my extra set of hands/my ability to sing several million Disney songs on demand—it’s gotten much easier.

Good news: It can be easier for you, too.

All my business travel has armed me with a few techniques for traveling without kids. For parents leaving their littles at home, then, I have a few pieces of advice. Whether you’re a business travel newbie or you’re used to going on a business trip without kids, these tips will help you feel more comfortable being away from the family. They’ll also help the transition at home.

10 tips for a smooth business trip without kids

1. Facetime every day.

When I’m out of town for business, I make a point of Facetiming with the kids every day so they can at least see me. (Skype and Google hangouts work just as well.) Our “conversations” often end up with my 2-year-old carrying the phone room to room (and inducing some seasickness), but it’s the closeness that matter. And with your partner’s help, you may even get a glimpse of what they’re up to—like climbing a tree!

Both my kids hug and kiss the phone goodbye, and I swear I can feel the love over the miles.

2. Ask for updates all the time.

Your child’s caretaker—whether it’s your partner, a grandparent or daycare—may not want to bother or overwhelm you when you’re traveling for business. So specifically ask them to send updates as often as you want them (which is, for me, as often as they can). I worry a lot less when I get a quick text saying Kiwi slept through the night, or that Peeper ate a good lunch. And I feel closer to my kids when I get snapshots of what they’re doing throughout the day.

3. Write a postcard.

Whenever I take a business trip without kids, I make a point of buying a postcard from my destination—even if it’s not that scenic—and sending it home. The messages I scrawl on the postcard aren’t that interesting (recaps of a business trip usually don’t have the same excitement of a vacation, after all) but the girls love getting mail, and it makes me feel more connected to them.

If there’s truly nothing to report, I’ll draw a doodle about something random—like the barista who clearly had drunk at least 18 cups of coffee, or a pigeon that was walking in circles in the park. My kids like these illustrated postcards the best!

4. Send photos back and forth.

I text my partner photos of myself throughout my business trip so he can show the girls what Mama is doing. Here’s me at the airport! Here’s me in front of a mural I thought you’d love! Here’s me after 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep!!!!

5. Stay busy.

The devil, and loneliness, love idle hands. Work will keep you occupied when you’re on a business trip without kids, but if you have downtime and you’re starting to miss your littles, dive into another project—whether that’s a side hustle or getting ahead of the ball for your job.

On the other hand…

6. Relax.

If you have kids, I’m guessing you haven’t painted your toenails or watched a movie start-to-finish in a very long time. Do it! When I travel for work, I buy a new nail polish color and paint my nails, or I take a bath, or I crawl into bed at 8pm without an ounce of guilt. So kick back in your hotel room, relish the fact you don’t have to do the dishes after eating your takeout, and take a very deep breath. Ahhhhhhh.

7. Know there will be lonely times.

If you’re traveling without kids, you’ll miss them—even if you’re also doing a happy dance that you don’t have to fight over toothbrushing or diaper changes. For me, slow moments at work and the moments right before bed are the saddest and when I miss my kids the most.

I figure I can’t avoid being sad, and it’s a totally normal emotion, so I just let it be. Sometimes I’ll text my partner or another mom friend who will get it. These are also the times I scroll through my Instagram history, which always makes me laugh at the ridiculous moments I’ve captured—like Peeper’s first taste of fried chicken. (And that bib—iPood! Hahaha!)

8. Tell your kids you’re leaving.

As tempting as it is to slip out without saying goodbye, ghosting your kids will only make them more confused—and more anxious about when you’ll disappear next. So prep your kids a day or two ahead of time. “Mom is going on a trip for a few days, but I’ll think about you all the time when I’m gone, and we can still talk every day!”

9. Tell your kids when you’ll be back.

Make a point of clearly explaining when you’ll come home from your business trip. I tell Kiwi, who is not yet 3, that I’ll be back in two sleeps—or however long I’ll be. With Peeper, who will turn 5 this year, we look at the calendar together, and she circles the day she’ll get to see me. (She doesn’t circle the day I get back, necessarily, because I’ll often fly in after she has gone to bed.) Then they have a reference point when they ask your partner or their caretaker, “When does Mom get home?”

10. Embrace your kid-free time.

If you’re anything like me, most of your waking hours are dictated by the whims of your kids. (Good luck listening to anything besides kidbop in the car. If you’re going out to eat, you better make sure grilled cheese is on the menu.) So since you’re doing a little kid-free travel, own it! Go to sushi. Catch up on podcasts. Pop in an antique store. In short, do all the things on your business trip you wouldn’t be able to do if you were traveling with kids.

(For me, my ritual is getting takeout, drinking an impossibly tiny and cute bottle of Prosecco, and watching Vikings or some other totally kid-inappropriate TV.)

And even if your business trip without kids is hard and you miss your munchkins like woah, remember that you’ll be home—and in their peanut butter-smeared arms—soon.

What helps you when you’re on a business trip without kids, far away from your littles?