Believe me, I’ve been there. We’ve been to about a dozen weddings since we had kids, and partying when your plus-one is single-digits-years-old offers its own challenges. But we’ve done the firsthand homework, and I’m ready to share tips to go to a wedding with kids!

If you’re bringing your kids to a wedding, you’ll definitely want this advice on how to avoid meltdowns, when to leave, ways to keep kids entertained and much more to make the wedding fun for everyone. Your littles will get to be part of the happy couple’s Big Day, and with a little luck, the bride and groom won’t regret allowing kids to the festivities.

Party on, family!

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15 tips to go to a wedding with kids 

1. Give them something to do during the ceremony

Sitting still and listening to adults talk not your kids’ forte? Join the club. So don’t expect them to hang tight during the wedding ceremony ’cause that just won’t happen.

Instead, give them something to do or focus on. For example, at a recent wedding my older daughter took a video of the ceremony on her camera (she has this kid-friendly camera). She felt like she was involved, and she didn’t interrupt the wedding ceremony!

(If you give your kids a phone or your camera to take pictures, just make sure the volume is off so the “click” sound doesn’t distract other guests.)

2. Pick your seat strategically

When you sit down for the wedding ceremony, sit toward the back and on the outside aisle. That way, if your kids get fussy—or simply need to stand during the ceremony—you won’t disturb others as you get up.

3. Bring snacks and drinks

From a kid’s perspective, it can take a long time to get past the arrival, ceremony and cocktail hour in order to reach dinner—which means they’ll probably get hungry and thirsty. Bring snacks and water to keep hunger at bay.

4. Pack a bag

Your cute clutch holds your phone, cash for the tip jar at the bar and kleenexes in case you cry. Chances are, though, it doesn’t hold squeezie pouches and a change of clothes for your children, plus all the other gear you need when you travel with kids.

So when you go to a wedding with kids, bring a backpack or tote bag to carry your kids’ supplies. Don’t even bother trying to fit everything into your purse. Just stash the bag under your seat or ask the wedding coordinator/venue manager where you can tuck it away.

5. Get a family photo

How often do you get a photo of your whole family? If your crew is anything like mine, your answer is: rarely. Take advantage of allllll the people at a wedding and ask one of them to take a picture of all of you together!

6. Scope out a quiet spot for breaks

Weddings are loud. They have lots of people. They might have flashing lights or a disco ball. That’s a lot of sensory input for babies and kids.

So one of the first things you should do when you arrive at a wedding with kids is locate a few quiet spots where you and your kids can retreat. They’ll be much happier if they can take breaks throughout the event.

At a recent wedding we attended, I took my kids to a soft bench next to the restrooms and lounges. It was far enough away from the dance floor that the music was muffled, and they didn’t feel so overwhelmed. After a few minutes there, they were ready to rejoin the party.

7. Find a breastfeeding-friendly area

If you’re breastfeeding, you’ll probably want to find a tucked-away area where you can sit—without crowds of people. I’m all for breastfeeding in public, but my own kids were always too distractible to nurse when there was a lot going on around us.

The wedding coordinator, venue manager or bride can likely find a quiet spot for you to breastfeed at the wedding. Chances are, there is a changing room or lounge reserved for the wedding party you can duck into when your baby gets hungry.

When my older daughter was just four months old, we went to a friend’s wedding at a fancy hotel. They didn’t open up a room for me, but I ducked into the pool area, where I relaxed in a deck chair and nursed my baby! It was even better than a mother’s lounge.

8. Bring kid-friendly activities

Your young children won’t be content to make chitchat with the other folks at your table. If you want them to be well behaved, bring things for them to do during the wedding reception.

Some ideas:

• clipboard with paper and crayons
• coloring books
• Water Wows
• craft kits
• felt activity books
• magnetic activity sets

9. Ask for kid-friendly meal options

When you RSVP to the wedding, ask if the venue will have kid-friendly meals. It might offer something basic like pasta or another choice that’s a kid favorite. If your children are particularly picky, ask the bride or groom if you can speak with the wedding coordinator or caterer directly. They might be able to arrange a special plate for your child—think plain chicken breast and rice.

That said, your kids might not eat even the most kid-friendly meal. (Take, for example, the time my younger daughter refused to eat the macaroni and cheese served because it was “weird” and “too cheesy.”)

In that case, everyone—your hungry kids, the guests nearby, the happy couple—will be thrilled you brought food for your picky kids to eat. I pretty much always travel with a small insulated bag that includes tofu dogs, PBJs, fruit leather, yogurt, crackers and fruit squeezie pouches. No one will look sideways at you for serving your kids food you brought from home/your hotel room.

10. Pick your battles (aka sugar)

Some families and kids can handle a sugar free-for-all once in a while, but mine sure can’t. If they overload on sugar, they go crazy, crash hard and then have a two-day sweets hangover. It’s ugly.

If your littles are like mine, enlist your kids to decide which sugary treat they’ll have (and which they won’t). For example, they might opt for a cruller from the donut table but skip the DIY candy bar.

Giving them the choice will help you avoid power struggles—and sugar highs.

11. Do activities early

I love that weddings have interactive moments, like wedding guest books to sign and photo booths. When you go to a wedding with kids, make a point of doing these activities early in the event.

If you wait too long, the lines will likely be longer, and your kids will likely be crankier. So check off all the must-do activities at the beginning so you don’t miss out!

12. Support their sensitivities

On the most recent wedding we went to, I made a big mistake: I didn’t bring my kids’ noise-canceling ear muffs. My poor older daughter was so distraught by the loud music that she had to take a few walks outside, where it was quiet.

Edie in particular has always been sensitive to loud noises. She keeps a pair of noise-canceling ear muffs at school for fire drills and assemblies, but we neglected to bring a pair to the wedding—even though predictably, the music was much louder than the Disney Pandora station she listens to at home.

So consider what sets off your kids at home. Is there something at a wedding that would predictably aggravate her? How can you support her?

13. Pick a leaving time

Before you arrive at the wedding, discuss with your partner when you’ll leave. Deciding on an exit time will help you avoid staying “just a little longer”—and then, like that ominous clock striking midnight in Cinderella, you realize you’ve stayed out way too late!

Sticking to a reasonable leaving time will help you avoid meltdowns when you take kids to a wedding.

14. Make a quick exit

When you do start to leave, don’t say goodbye to everyone. If ever there were a reasonable time to sketch bail, this is it! Your relatives and friends will understand if you don’t seek them out for a hug goodbye.

The exception: Make sure you have said goodbye to the bride and groom. You’re there to see them commit their lives to each other, after all. So interrupt a conversation if you have to; just give a quick hug goodbye and get your kids out of there before meltdowns!

15. Plan for time to decompress

When your kids go to a wedding, they’re totally out of their usual routine: They eat tons of sugar, dance like crazy monsters, spend a day surrounded by strangers, dress up fancy… the list goes on. Is it any wonder they’ll need a little extra time to wind down?

So when you get home or back to your hotel, don’t expect your kids will go straight to bed. Invite them to do some quiet play before you even attempt to get them to sleep. When you expect to have this transition time, you’ll be less frustrated that they’re not cooperating with bedtime-as-usual.

Your family guide to attending a wedding

This is a first for us, but we don’t actually have any weddings to attend this summer—shocking, right? Our weekends are much more booked with family vacations and kids’ birthday parties. (Isn’t that funny how you get invited to weddings in waves? Apparently this is a dip in the cycle!)

Do you have any upcoming weddings you’ll attend with kids, or without? Do you have any suggestions to go to weddings with kids? Please share in the comments!

PS – If you’re going to an out-of-town wedding, you’ll want your kids to sleep well while you’re traveling. Check out my posts on sticking to your child’s sleep routine and 12 tips to get a great night’s sleep in a hotel with kids!

The post Weddings with kids: A parent’s guide to a meltdown-free celebration appeared first on To & Fro Fam.