Paris is a city where all the romantic things you’ve ever heard actually come true. On my first day in Paris, I sat outside at a café and sipped my tea while church bells beckoned the faithful. A couple kissed on a nearby park bench. And then a woman pedaled by on a bicycle, two baguettes perched in the basket.

For real.

Despite the romance of Paris, though, you’re not guaranteed to have a wonderful time. In fact, how you approach your vacation to Paris can make or break your trip.

I traveled to Paris for the first time this fall and fell in love, partly because I didn’t make common mistakes of a first-time visit to Paris.

If you’ve been to France a million times or you’re planning your first trip to Paris, don’t leave the City of Lights feeling disappointed; here’s what not to do in Paris.

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What not to do in Paris (and how to actually enjoy your vacation)

1. Overplan your trip

There is so much to do, see and eat in Paris, so you might think the best way to take advantage of your vacation there is to plan everything out to the minute. You might buy a guide book, pin like crazy and scour the internet for the must-do highlights of Paris. (I totally did this, too; see my Europe Travel board on Pinterest for ideas, if you like!)

This is a classic example of what not to do in Paris.

One day in Paris, I was leaving the Parthenon when I spotted a library. Instead of focusing on what landmark to see next, I popped inside for a moment. I made my way upstairs. There, I met a Frenchman who spoke Italian and, being an American who speaks Spanish, we sort of understood each other. He told me about academics who came to the library centuries ago and read as much as they could before the sun went down, and how the architect designed the ceiling and windows to allow for as much natural light as possible.

You won’t find this library in any guidebook, and it’s not on any list of must-do highlights in Paris. But I treasured the simple connection between strangers. In a time of bucket lists and a world of information at your fingertips, it’s easy to try to “curate” the perfect trip—but I’d rather experience small, authentic moments like this.

2. Hurry from one destination to the next

If you’re on a tight schedule, you miss the happy accidents of wandering. That’s why making a bee-line from one destination to another is on my list of what not to do in Paris.

As you walk from place to place, you find narrow, winding streets and interesting shops and maybe even an old man playing French classics on a violin. You’ll also find Paris landmarks—it’s hard to be in this city without bumping into a cathedral or monument you’ve seen on postcards. But when you just happen upon one, it’s a surprise of discovery.

Pursuing your list of things to do in Paris will mean you see and do more than the person who travels at a leisurely pace. But whose experience will be more pleasant?

Paris’s pace is relaxed—you’ll find Parisians lingering over coffee or wine and sitting in a park, face to the sun. Parisians never seem to be in a hurry, so why should you?

“A Parisienne always has a good reason to be sitting on a bench.” –How to be Parisian Wherever You Are

3. Visit every must-do highlight of Paris

I love art, and everyone pointed to the Louvre as a must-do highlight of Paris. Naturally, then,  the art museum was on my short list for things to do in Paris. Before I made it to the Louvre, though, I went to the Musee d’Orsay. And although the art was magnificent, I had a terrible time.

The museum was packed. Half the floors were under renovation. And the remaining galleries were so hot and stuffy that I felt claustrophobic. A line of people moved past the paintings in a never-ending queue.

I left without seeing a single Picasso, Monet or Van Goh. The crush of people made me feel like I needed an escape, so I wouldn’t have appreciated the art anyway. I also learned that forcing myself to go to art museums because I should is a classic example of what not to do in Paris.

So instead of visiting the Louvre, I spent an hour or two relaxing in the Jardins du Luxembourg, where I ate an éclair, shared a bottle of champagne with friends and people watched. (Doesn’t that sound nicer than fighting crowds to see a Rodin?)

You can bet that changing plans—and skipping the one thing everyone told me to do—made for a much happier trip to Paris.

4. Expect the most magical vacation ever

First-time visitors to Paris can hype up the City of Lights in their head. You’re going to eat baguette by the Seine while wearing a beret! You’re going to kiss your beloved below the Eiffel Tower! You’re going to have the most magical vacation ever!

But then it rains. Or you feel jet lagged. Or the Metro employees go on strike.

And the letdown from your crashing expectations make you want to weep dramatically like a wronged heroine in a black and white film.

This experience of what not to do in Paris is common enough that it has a name: Paris Syndrome.

(n) Paris Syndrome – the disappointment and let-down when your experience of Paris does not meet your expectations.

So before you set yourself up for a case of Paris Syndrome, check your expectations. Know that travel is never guaranteed to be perfect (but with the right attitude it can be an adventure).

So when the Catacombs are closed for renovations, or the airline loses your bag, or you catch a cold, take a deep breath and ask yourself: How can this be a part of my Paris story?

Your vacation in Paris won’t be perfect, but it will be memorable.

5. Search for the best

Ask a group of people for the best bakery, café or macaron in Paris and you’ll get a different answer from everyone. It’s tempting to plan your trip to Paris around the best croissant/steak frites/espresso/whatever, but the stress of maximizing every bite and sip you take isn’t worth it.

Take for example my friend’s mom. When she travels internationally, she looks up dozens of articles and reviews to find the best places to go. Yet when she arrives, there’s always something lacking.

You know what? Paris is full of wonderful places to eat. You don’t need to go to The Best to have a wonderful meal. Pick a place and enjoy it—without the stress of the research and reviews.

Now that you know what not to do in Paris, you’re ready to truly enjoy this city. With an open mind and an openness to adventure, you’re sure to have a beautiful and memorable stay.

Do you have any tips for a first-time visit to Paris? Anything to add to my list of what not to do in Paris?

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